bad puns to tell my crush

bombing:

• are you a parking ticket? the future terrifies me
• when was the last time you took your vitamins?
• 44
• i’m a thousand years old 
• we could make it if we really tried 
• can we play some drake? i’m going to play some drake 
• i killed my parents and they deserved it
• enough to break the ice in tennessee 
• i want to die
• blue crab larvae are incredibly vulnerable to jellyfish
• i think about you more than i’d ever admit 
• i threw up on the way here