Me, a humble codesmith going to visit the local compiler: Verily, good compiler, i come bearing the following texts, that I wish to be executed!
The local compiler, pretending that he isn’t hiding his mistress behind the counter, feining a lack of nervousness: Ah, if it isn’t you, you familliar bugger. Very well, let’s hear what code you’ve smithed up this time.
Me, smirking: Hmph. I think you’ll find this time, I shall get through your misbegotten errors.
Compiler: Oh, is that so, is it? Well, I didn’t hear you say those were comments, you know. You’re skirting pretty close to an error over there.
Me, in a damage animation: What? But the compiler down the road recognizes me doing the finger air quotes as containing my words within comments!
Compiler: What the compiler down the road accepts is his business, but I won’t accept shoddy software.
Me, biting my tongue, and then beginning my code: Verily, first, I demand the inclusion of the following header files: The Queen’s Standard Library, and The Duke of Cambridge’s Library Of Legally Approved Mathematics.
Compiler: *nodding, so far so good*
Me, wary but continuing: Behold! For I make a formal declaration of a variable, and i declare this variable is of the type ‘Integer’, and of the name ‘bigSlappy’.
Compiler: Just fill out these formal declaration of variable forms, and the crown can have your variables officially declared by the end of the week.
Me: But the compiler down the road-
Compiler: I’m not hearing any “this is a comment”. Sounds like you’d like a Syntax Error.
Me: *damage animation*
Part 2
Le me, derping my way to the compiler: Ah ha! Good compiler! *dropping a heavy box upon his counter, scattering away the rats that were enjoying a nice meal in the corner.*
compiler, waking up: Ah, it’s you again.
Me: I have brung unto thee a program.
Compiler *nodding, opening up the box*: Hm, let’s see… *moths come flying out*. Seems it’s full of bugs. You know I can’t send this to the RAM in London like this!
Me: ‘Tis but a few bugs!
Compiler: These are type declaration bugs, buddy. And you know what happens when you type your variables incorrectly?
Me: *sighing* You will refuse to compile them.
grawly all my posts are this good and should be reblogged
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