stimmystuffs:

hey guys here’s my review of how much various horror movies fit their titles

scream: there is a respectable amount of screaming. could have been called “guy in a screamy mask with a knife” but they took a risk with the title and I respect that 7/10

the descent: there is a good amount of descending in this movie 8/10

it follows: it does, in fact, follow 9/10

Oculus: dumb. Idk what oculus means and I don’t care. shld have been called “murder mirror” 0/10

the babadook: movie is based around an entity known as the babadook. very good 10/10

creep: I guess the guy is fairly creepy, but I i wish the title was a little more specific. Work the wolf mask in there next time 5/10

the exorcist: there is an exorcist 8/10

the houses that October built: October can’t build houses. It’s a month. Idiots. 2/10 because it does, at least, take place in October

silent hill: I don’t think there are any hills that are more silent than the average hill in this movie 1/10

paranormal activity: there is activity that is fairly paranormal 9/10

the blair witch project: I guess what they’re doing could be counted as a project, and it DOES involve the blair witch, but I’d call it more of a “documentary” than a “project” 7/10

split: there are, to the best of my knowledge, no splits of either the gymnastic or banana variety in this movie 0/10

the midnight meat train: there is a train at midnight, and some meat themes throughout the movie, but the train itself is not filled with meat 6/10

the conjuring: nothing is actually conjured. they’re actually trying to get rid of something, which is like. the opposite of conjuring -100/10