validtitty:

there’s only four things that can happen if u start masturbating when u think ur gonna be murdered by a ghost/demon/monster:

1. ur not gonna get murdered, there’s nothing there, u just get to masturbate and that’s always fun

2. the ghost/demon/monster is like ‘woah there’, they’re like, socially anxious and or just really polite and they leave you to yourself, allowing you to masturbate and NOT be murdered for another night!

3. the ghost/demon/monster is like ‘woah there’ but they’re like really into it? and u know, maybe they ask to join in, and then u get to fuck a ghost/demon/monster and u know what? that’s fucking awesome. go you. do it for all of us. there may be consequences later, but you’ll be a literal legend for now and you most likely won’t die and that’s all that matters.

4. the ghost/demon/monster ISN’T like ‘woah there’ and then they just kill you but at least you were masturbating at the time which everyone knows is the most pleasurable way to go, and dying at the hands of a ghost/demon/monster is probably the most BADASS way to go, so you really get the best of both worlds in the situation, even though you’re dead, so like. just go for it! whip it out! LIVE!