wahoorat:

turnip52:

spaffy-jimble:

wahoorat:

if you are a lesbian you are permitted to get away with as much arson as you want. if you are gay you are allowed one (1) act of shoplifting over 250 dollars. if you are bisexual you can key as many sports cars as you want. if you are trans you can fake your own death three times. thats the rules. if you are heterosexual then just dont leave the house or we’re gonna have a problem.

Shoplifting over $250? So technically you can shoplift the biggest jewelry store in the world, sell your gains, and be rich.

Can I get a clarification on our new laws? So if the lesbians were to burn down the house of a straight person and that individual were to die in the fire, is the lesbian who burned the house down free from murder? Keep in mind that we straights are not allowed to leave our homes, effectively forcing us to get jobs online in order to pay for delivery or pretend to be lgbt, which would probably be a crime (?) Anyway, I just want to know if we’re safe from being burned alive

if a lesbian burned down your house and killed you, youd thank her.