professionalpeachhunk:

scrims:

intrepids-stuff:

havahnagilah:

asexual: [reading war and peace]
me, wearing only a g-string and a see-through chainmail bra: [smacks war and peace out of their hands] go watch some porn you geek ass bitch

Me, an asexual [and not-so-closeted rabid bibliophile]: What did you just do to my 131 year old piece of classic Russian literature, you pretentious under-dressed swine? No. Never mind. We both know what you did. Now pick up the book and return it to me nicely or else the only people who’ll be having sex with you will be the grave-robbing necrophiliacs who were only lucky enough to find your body.

goddamn

Is this an open or closed role play?