the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.
just sent this joke poem about goblins to this girl on okc and was
going to follow it up with a message saying “please rate my poem 1-10”
but okc changed it so you can only send one message so she’s received
this ominous goblin poem without any context
Wow Goblins Are Really Good
They Hide Their Green Faces Under A Hood
They Steal Lots Of Coins To Buy Food
They’ll Never Kidnap Me And Take Me To Their Brood
Had to go research this thing, and the answer to what to do if it stings you is scream.
from Wikipedia-
“One researcher described the pain as “…immediate, excruciating, unrelenting pain that simply shuts down one’s ability to do anything, except scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations. In terms of scale, the wasp’s sting is rated near the top of the Schmidt sting pain index, second only to that of the bullet ant, and is described by Schmidt as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”.“
Soooooo…dissociate to escape or?
It’s laying eggs in you.
Let’s back up a second and fully appreciate that description.
The Schmidt sting pain index, a widely used classification system for the bites and stings of ants, bees and wasps, is literally the personal ranking system of a guy named Justin Schmidt, who goes around letting bugs sting him for science. Like, that’s this Thing as a scientist.
In one entry, he describes the sting of the common bee as “almost pleasant, [like] a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.”
In another, the sting of the yellowjacket is described as “hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.“
So when the Schmidt sting pain index characterises the sting of the tarantula hawk as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”, well, now you know what your standard for comparison is!
this is fascinating but when do we kinkshame Justin Schmidt
If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator.
You have several times more endurance than they do – use that to your advantage!
Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.
Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation
Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*
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