Tag: reminder

warm-suggestions:

It’s easy to feel inadequate at a hobby when there’s so many talented people out there who seem so much better than you. But you’re doing it to have fun. Because it makes you feel alive inside. And you can always bring something new and different to the table, even if you aren’t the most talented. Just keep working hard, chasing the feeling of passion, and have fun with it. 

fighting-bird:

wigglyflippingout:

swampgallows:

kyanve:

thalassarche:

beyondthetemples-ooc:

cassiebones:

appropriately-inappropriate:

beytamacs:

breastforce:

“Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them…or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.”

Holy SHIT

WELL THEN

Yep.

They actually tested me for a learning disability in high school because I was consistently failing math.

They discovered that I actually scored in the 80th percentile in that sort of learning.

Problem was, in every other subject, I was in the 99.8th percentile.

I had never learned how to study because I never needed to—and then, when something proved to be even the slightest bit challenging, my brain went

“LOL nope this is impossible abort”

Meanwhile, this entire time I’m scraping by in subjects like English. The assignments I did turn in, I’d score top marks—but I’d avoid turning in projects I didn’t think were “good” enough.

Essentially, my brain had two settings: “100%” or “0%”.

This sort of Baby Genius shit makes kids and adolescents neurotic and self-destructive.

We learned about this in Child Development. And we learned to reward hard work and not good job. Like don’t say to a child, “oh you are so smart.” Say “Oh did worked so hard.”

Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

Decades of research have been done on this by Dr. Carol Dweck. When the emphasis is placed on effort (a factor people can control) rather than talent (an innate skill), it’s a lot easier to see mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than something you just won’t ever be good at. And kids who were encouraged by effort were also more willing to take on more challenging work and considered it a lot more fun, while the kids who were praised for their intelligence were reluctant to put themselves in a situation where they might lose that identifier as a “smart kid” by making mistakes, so they preferred to do work they were confident they could master. Also, the kids praised for effort wanted to compare their results to kids who got higher scores, to see where they made their mistakes, while those praised for intelligence wanted to compare their results to kids who scored lower, to reassure themselves.

Not only does this set up “smart” students for a lot of trouble when they enter college and start being regularly challenged, the effects last long beyond that. It can be very hard for the “you’re so smart!” kids to unlearn as they become adults and struggle with even common adult things, and are afraid to ask for help because of that lesson they learned from misguided praise that they are supposed to be smart and supposed to know the answers. 

…Honestly +1 here.  It’s very well researched and documented and yeah.  Making the emphasis on “You succeed and we are proud of you b/c you are SMART as an intrinsic quality!” makes failure/setbacks/difficulty -TERRIFYING- b/c if you’re “smart” it doesn’t happen and if you fail that means you’re not smart and that’s what everyone’s drilled into you as your main point of worth.

And the rates of anxiety disorders among “gifted student” kids are kinda horrifying.    

This is why “you’re so smart” means absolutely nothing to me any more. It’s used as punishment as often as it’s used as praise. 

#i hate how real this post is

fucking same

yeah add this to the list of “shit I’m struggling with”

crime-she-typed:

jenniferrpovey:

remisstoreality:

seagodofmagic:

lmaodies:

gizkasparadise:

randomlyimagine:

werewolfau:

abbiehollowdays:

dynastylnoire:

lavendersucculents:

When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin?
Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix?
Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly?
What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental)
Am I allowed to paint the walls?
Is there any additional storage?
Do you do regular pest control?

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

LAUNDRY FACILITIES
Definitely ask about security
Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer)
If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs
What kind of heating/AC there is
Procedure/response time for any maintenance
How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem)
What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead?
Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places:
When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in?
Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference
Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

I CANNOT SECOND THIS ENOUGH.

ALSO

– who last lived here? why did they leave?

– Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)

– Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

– Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

– Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter – you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

– Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit – tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

– What are the rules on hanging pictures?

– Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

– What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).

This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾